Often the things we fear the most are the things we must do. I know I’ve read this before, but I couldn’t find the origin when I searched quotes on fear. Truth be told, I probably heard it from Oprah. I recently found the statement very applicable to my life when my friend Suzy asked me to help serve lunch at the Ronald McDonald House.
I had helped out before, but in a different manner and I didn’t have contact with parents whose children are in critical care. This time we would be serving at Children’s Mercy Hospital. I’ve always sort of feared hospitals and being around sickness. It’s not that I’m not a nurturing person, I just make a horrible nurse. I’m very emotional and sensitive to others feelings. When my family members are sick I get stressed out and the stress usually leads to irritability. If I see a person crying I’m likely to cry along with them instead of putting on the brave face.
My calendar was open for the day, but I kept dreaming up excuses in my head. I thought to myself:
1.There are other ways I can help.
2.I have a lot of projects I want to get done and I need to set boundaries.
3.I’m sure people will be crying and that will make me cry. I’ll look like a fool and that isn’t really helping.
I thought about it for a day or two before I gave a definite answer. The answer finally came to me loud and clear during a Bible study lecture. The discussion was over a chapter in Matthew where Jesus feeds thousands of people with five loaves of bread and two fish. The message was he provides what we need even when the situation looks pretty bleak.
Feeding and serving others is an act of love. The experience felt great. We fed over 60 people, the families were appreciative and I didn’t cry. It took three hours out of my day which is the same amount of time or less that I spend on email and surfing the internet. I was also still able to get other things accomplished on my to do list.
I was a little fearful about sharing this story because I don’t want people to think I’m being preachy or self-righteous. We all have our own journeys and lessons we need to learn. Once again, the little voice inside me said, “The things we fear the most, we must do and so I did.”
What are you currently fearing? Perhaps it’s a new exercise program or starting a new project. Please share in the comments and if you are afraid that is all the more reason to share.
Good for you! I love that you did it anyway, even though it was not something you felt drawn to. I often feel like I hold myself back, and I am not doing that anymore. It only hurts me!-Ashley
Good for you Ashley! Thanks for leaving a comment 🙂
My 12 year old is going to be 13 soon. With that age he wants to graduate from his twin bed into a nice fluffy “Big” bed. I can understand his wish but my “fear” starts with thinking of the whole room overhaul project. I would not feel right just adding a new bed. It’s time to paint (which I hate…might have to hire out 🙂 get new bedding, widow treatments, go through all the draws, closet etc. I know when it’s all done we will both be very happy.
Thanks for sharing Kristin! You are so right in that one minor change opens the door to others. My daughter got new bedding several months ago and we still haven’t finished changing things. Need to repaint, etc, but I’m so ready to have it done. My husband and I hate painting too so I will be hiring! Some things are worth it. Don’t know if you saw Friday’s post, but my friend Kyra does consultations 🙂 Decorating is fun, but a lot of work and time consuming.
I think we all help others and volunteer in different ways and in ways that align with our comfort zones. I’m so proud of you and impressed that you were able to find a way to volunteer and give back and make a meaningful contribution even when it was outside your comfort zone.
Thanks Stacey! It really wasn’t as scary as I made it out to be. I have a very active imagination!
I remember talking with you about this fear and I’m glad you joined us. It’s so uplifting to serve others in need. The fear I’m struggling with, like probably several others, is sending my son off to college. I know he will be okay but it’ll feel different at home without him. Come August I will be a HOT MESS!
You know that’s one of my fears too 🙂 There will be several of us in a HOT MESS. Hopefully we can help each other out.
Good for you facing your fears and helping out! At the same time, I think there is something very wonderful about someone who wants to sit and cry with someone who is hurting:)
Thanks Seana! I definitely have the crying part down 🙂
That is the hardest thing to do….I have been in similar situations and it isn’t because I didn’t want to help, it’s more because I didn’t want to make them uncomfortable. I had nothing to offer….me in my perfect life, what could I possibly do? I’m sure we both ended up more blessed that those we served.
I am afraid of moving forward. The kids are all out of the house. My husband will be retiring in 4 years. I have a house that should have a family living in it…not us. I have a little house in the country that my husband wants to move to permanently, but I’m afraid of that commitment. But I’m also afraid of committing to a condo on the Plaza or downtown, or in leawood. There are just too many ‘what-if’s’. I just kind of want to be 45 forever…and stay like this. But we are practical people, so I know it is the right thing to do. Why is THIS the one thing that I cannot be practical about? I feel like my grandma who has to give up her house to go to the nursing home!
You are way too young for the nursing home. I think those are very real fears. You are in a different phase of your life. I think wherever you wind up your home will be cozy, inviting and a new adventure. I wouldn’t rush things, but just know it will all work out. Just don’t move too far where I can’t come visit you.
I love the honesty behind this article. Especially when you were looking for other excuses — I do that too! Kudos to you, though, for stepping out of your comfort zone and experiencing a new version of you.
Thanks, I have a follow up story I’m going to share on Monday which makes facing this fear even more special to me. I appreciate your comment 🙂